It's a girl!

We saw the doctor this morning and he waited until the end of our appointment to tell us boy or girl. Michael told the doctor sarcastically as he was leaving, "Hey thanks for waiting until the VERY end to tell us what it was." The doctor laughed like - mwah haha.

Anyway, we'll now start narrowing down names. We have a few ideas, but for right now we affectionately call her Myrtle. Just kidding. She's very healthy, everything looked good and he didn't see any problems. Hurrah!

They gave us an ultrasound video to take home, and it's below. The whole video was 15 minutes long, so I've tried to edit out parts where he took measurements or just stopped the ultrasound for a moment. The doctor kept pausing it to explain things to us, so if it looks like your video has frozen, it probably hasn't. The cutest and clearest stuff (little hands and foots - so cute) is after the 5 minute mark, so you can just skip to that if you want. I don't think anyone will watch the whole 7 minutes except people who are REALLY excited. (And if you are I have to say - I can relate)



I apologize ahead of time to my kid for having her hoo-hoo exposed to all of the internet. I will save up for therapy.

My favorite part of all is just how much she moves around in there - like - it's aliiiive! We were talking about how much she was moving around and Michael was like, "Yep, that's my kid." - uh oh. Last night she kicked me really hard a couple times - she's only 21 weeks for pete's sake and I thought my belly-button might invert or something. So I was telling that to the doctor, saying "Is that normal? Or do I have like super-baby?" And the doctor just said, "Yes. You have super-baby."

lol

Check it out

STILL NO UPDATE ON BABY GENDER

Just for those of you who are dying to know. We'll find out tomorrow.

But I had a couple of things to share today.

First, I just found out that an entire class of third graders just voted on what I'm going to have... 3rd graders that I've never met! I just got this email from my mom:

"Well, my class just voted, and 19 think you are having a boy, 6 a girl, and two abstained. - Mom"

My response: what do 3rd graders know, anyway?

Mom agrees.


Second: I've been trying to go off of my anti-nausea pills for 2 weeks, to no avail. I'm still horribly sick without them, and even taking them I still throw up now and then. So yesterday I gave in and called my doctor to renew my prescription (since I had just taken my last one). They phoned in a new prescription to my pharmacy and wonderful Michael picked it up for me. I noticed some interesting things on the bag when he brought it home.

First, what we paid:



Then this line:



HAHA. Doesn't that amaze you? My anti-nausea pills retail for about $20 a pill! (there were 60) But I know that my health insurance company doesn't pay nearly that much per pill - probably less than 10%. Also - if my health insurance didn't cover it, I know that Walgreen's has a pharmacy club you can subscribe to for $20 a year, and that takes the price of each pill down to about $2. So the total prescription would have cost me $180.

So in reality, my health insurance company saved me at most about $190. But that's still a lot of money! I'll take $0.16 a pill any day.

Vote

What do you think I'm having?

Hump day

Today I'm 20 weeks along, which is halfway through my pregnancy. I celebrated by throwing up spectacularly this morning. Seriously, it could have been choreographed to "Stars and Stripes Forever." And my pregnant sister called right during the performance! And she could hear me! Wonderful. We just found out last week that she is pregnant and only 2 months behind me! It was a big surprise, and my baby will have someone to play with at family gatherings, so that is really cool.

We have the ultrasound next week to find out the gender. I tried to fool myself yesterday into thinking that I should enjoy this next week because it'll be the last time that I can think of my baby in a generic non-gender "my baby" terms, but it's not working. I have half a mind to walk into my doctor's office and demand to know this minute. Mostly so I can just get decorating already. Ok, that's a lie, I have no money to decorate. But I can start planning.

We have also been living in a new house for the last month and a half, I know I haven't said anything about it so far. It's been more challenging than anything else. It's a cute little house with pretty wooden floors all across the upstairs, and nice big windows. It's a rambler, so I don't have to go up or down stairs to get to the kitchen from my bedroom. There's still a lot to put away, but we can function at least. Michael surprises me everyday by fixing something or taking care of something else. It's so nice but sometimes I feel like I can't keep up with him and that is frustrating that I can't do as much. But he gets a lot done. The only problem we really seem to run into is saving up enough to get things from the hardware store that we need to fix things around the house. I think it will just come together slowly over time. Hopefully a lot will be done by next February.

Cyoot widdle iddle-kinnnns

We had to make an unscheduled stop at the doctor's office today. I just had an appointment last week and wasn't supposed to have another one until the end of September when we find out the gender. But I've been having a lot of abdominal pain, right over my uterus, and it was finally to the point where it was worrying me. The doctor checked the ligaments on either side of my uterus, which are supposed to be sore as the baby gets bigger, and they are. But when he pressed right on my uterus, right in the middle, there's a lot of pain and tenderness there, which he said wasn't really usual. So he did an ultrasound and we saw a little wiggly baby, moving around, waving at us (I don't care what Michael says, the baby was waving), heart beating nicely, placenta looks ok, uterus looks ok. So the things that could have been big worries are all doing okay. But he's still a little concerned. We're going to try medication for a bladder infection and see if that helps, and hopefully nothing gets worse over the next few weeks. Oh, and I'm supposed to take it "easier." Easily said when you haven't just moved.

Michael asked if the doctor could tell the gender, and to my surprise the doctor totally tried to find out, but he said our baby's foot was right in the way. He said that his daughter is about as far along as I am (17 weeks), and they could see that she had a boy already. But I think it's funny like our baby's first act of rebellion. I don't mind waiting until next month, but Michael's going to get a hernia soon if he doesn't find out.

But it is crazy to see that it's not just a little blob anymore with a flickering heartbeat inside. It has a little face and a little tummy, little arms and little legs. Cutest thing ever.

Family Vacation Highlights 1

Our family vacation (/reunion) was with all of my siblings, all of their children, my dad and his wife and my aunt Lynne. We all went to southern Utah for a week, about 30 miles east of Cedar City and we did a TON of stuff. Some things that perhaps pregnant people shouldn't do... well nevermind. It was exhausting. But lots of good memories.

I have to post this video clip of my niece. We had a talent night for all the little kids, and she sang a few songs. Just try to tell me it's not the cutest thing you've ever seen in your whole life:



Here are some of my favorite photos:

My nephew Austin fell asleep at the end of our trip through Zion Park. Looks like how I was feeling by that point, too.

My neice Cameron on our horseback riding trek. This is one of the only non-blurry photos I have from this ride.

Apparently if your horse stops to pee, you fall to the back of the line. But it gave me a chance to take this photo that captures ALMOST everyone in our family who came horseback riding. Yes, that's ALL my family, no strangers in that photo.

Some of us went to Strawberry Point, something that my sister Jacque and I found by basically asking ourselves, "what's up this road?" It was my favorite part of the trip, but I'll post about it later.

Michael refused to shave on this whole vacation. I refused to kiss him. Obviously, that tactic didn't work. This is him on top of Strawberry Point.

Aaand Bryce Canyon.

busy busy

Michael and I just got back from a week's vacation in southern Utah, which I'll blog about soon. But first we have to finish packing up our house for the big move on Saturday! If you were planning on coming by to help, we'll be starting at about 10:00am. Thanks!

Happy Birthday Michael!

Today is Michael's Birthday! Hurray!

I wish I could do more for his birthday, but I did manage to pick up a couple of movies that he's been talking about for the past few months, which he liked.

The baby also made time to pick up something for Daddy:


The pacifiers aren't for Michael, of course, but he will definitely be glad they are there someday.

And we're saving this for later:



MMMMMmmmmm.....

More big news

I am pregnant again.

Just to recap about my last pregnancy: last September I found out I was pregnant, but then I miscarried in October at 8 weeks.

I am 11 weeks along now and everything seems normal so far. My last baby never made it past being the size of a bean or a pea, and this new baby is already 2 inches long (gigantic, it seems).

Unfortunately, things haven't been very good for me emotionally. When I found out I was pregnant last September, it was like a light switched on immediately. The moment I found out, I was filled with awe and excitement and wonder, I was so aware of the baby and being pregnant and it changed my life just from seeing the plus sign show up on the test. I was a mother, I would always be a mother, and I was blissfully positive. Things that worried me before didn't matter any more, and I presumed that no matter what happened I would be fine.

This new pregnancy has been so different. The moment I found out I was pregnant a stab of fear stuck me in the gut and I felt sick. I wonder if during my first pregnancy I didn't know how awful it would be to lose it - now I know how painful that can be and I can't really open up to the joy and excitement that I felt before, even if I try. And I hate that things happened this way, because I feel like I've been robbed of that ignorant joy that some women can have during their first pregnancies - that I was going to have with my first pregnancy.

I'm glad that I've made it past the point where I lost the baby before, but still I can't quite open up and really feel happy. I used to wonder - if I get pregnant again, will that make the pain of the last one magically go away? And it didn't, sadly. Then I wondered if I would feel better once I saw a heartbeat. And maybe I did a little, but not good like I felt the first time. Then I wondered if I would feel better if this baby lived longer than the first one. And that was a good day, but I'm still worried. And I wonder - maybe when I get to my second trimester - past the point of miscarriages, will I feel better? But then some women still have stillbirths after the first trimester is over. Will I feel better when it is born? But what if something goes wrong during labor, what if I lose it then? Or what if it makes it, and then something happens in infancy? Or what if it becomes a toddler and some accident happens? And it just feels like I will be SICK for the rest of my life, worrying about this child.

Maybe it's just a slow climb this time to feel that happiness that I felt before. Maybe little by little I will feel better, less guilty, less sick, less worried.

Maybe I just had to get that wonderful, joyful rush of motherhood all in one go last time because God knew it was going to be brief.

I have to be positive. I can't go through life being afraid, because it will ruin life. I won't get to enjoy things even when they are good if I am so afraid. I never imagined that I would be the kind of person that would hold on to fear, and that it would be difficult to let it go. But I can't go on living with it. I celebrated that first baby's life, I was so excited and happy and told everyone, and I'm so glad I did while I had the chance. I feel like I haven't even given this baby a chance, haven't celebrated it, and I want to so much. I want to have hope and optimism, and believe that everything will be okay. I don't think that living in fear will prepare me any better in case something bad happens. In fact I think the optimism and hope of the first pregnancy was something that helped me through the miscarriage, if you can believe that.

I am due the first week of February 2010, and even though it will be cold outside and there will be snow on the ground, I'm going to imagine that the sun will be shining.

It's Ours

Everything is finalized and we are officially house owners, hurrah!

We won't be moving in right away. The sellers are renting it from us until the first week of August, and we'll be moving in around the 8th. That gives us lots of time for packing.