In which I milk a cow and get violated by a llama

Today I took Jane to the petting zoo at Thanksgiving point for the first time.  It was really, really windy, but Jane didn't seem to mind it too much.  I bought a little handful of feed and when the goats ate it out of my hand Jane GIGGLED and giggled as though it was the funniest thing in the world.

They also had a little pony ride, and I put Jane on a little Shetland, and at first she clung to me but then when it started to move Jane looked around like, "Heeeeeyyy!  I got this!"  And then she just held on to my one finger as we went around.  The guy running the pony ride was nice enough to take a picture, and nice enough to not care that Jane had turned her head all the way around to look behind us, and just handed me back the camera because he was DONE.  It was magical.

After that I took a few kernels of feed over to the llama pen, and an obliging lama came over and ate out of my hand while Jane giggled away.  When it had eaten everything, the lama suddenly looked me straight in the face, and slowly started moving forward, slowly, slowly, coming close and closer to my face, and somewhere in my head I'm wondering if I should back up, but the main part of my brain is thinking, "What on earth is it doing?" and it's mesmerized me, I'm just watching it come closer and closer, and then suddenly there was this monstrous PHHHH!!  It blew a blast of air right in my face that was so forceful that it actually forced my lips open and its nasty lama breath went into my mouth!  BAHH!  And I laughed like some idiot and then this wave of hideous embarrassed mortification hits me and I start to look around to see who's nearby, but then I stop because I don't really even want to know if anyone saw it, and Jane's just eyeing the llama like, "The hell did you do to my mom?"  Aaaand that was when we went back inside and I washed my hands and then I scrubbed my face and my mouth out.

Then I noticed the cow that all the little kids were crowded around, taking turns milking it.  Jane and I watched them milk the cow and we stood up by the its head and every time the cow lifted its head, munching and munching with its tongue coming out, Jane would LAUGH and laugh.  After awhile the kids left and then some of the timid adults started coming forward to take a turn milking the cow, including ME.

If you look closely in this picture you can see that I am TOTALLY missing the bucket and the milk is just squirting out onto the floor.  I guess I was too distracted by the warm squeeeeeeshiness.  I hope I just grossed you out.

Here's some more pictures for the road: